When the train is coming, get off the tracks.

With great respect to S. Brian Willson who martyred his legs to a train carrying a shipment of arms to the Contras for their horrific illegal war on the people of Nicaragua. Brian, even knowing how ruthless the US Government can be, didn't get off the tracks because he thought the train wouldn't have orders to run him down. Sometimes it is impossible to get off the tracks in time. But most of the time, we have fair warning that a punch or an insult or a provocative manipulation is coming our way.

I think this is very good advice, "When the train is coming, get off the tracks." We have been hearing different versions of this all our lives. "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me." "Don't rise to the bait." (good image) We read a lot about bullying, especially in schools. We, as a nation, bully all the time. Even in cartoons for small children a lot of plots have the big bad bully frightening the quiet sweet damsel.

Today I am pondering this huge subject and thinking about how we stand up for ourselves and get off the tracks at the same time. What occurs to me is that the idea has to be to stand in our integrity, and not be that we have to win. Very different mental constructs, but, I think the integrity guarantees a win even without a fight.

There are historical images of this deed that most of us have seen. The non-violent civil rights marches in the USA where the marchers knew that they were going to get clubbed, gassed, (we don't approve of chemical weapons, but we tear gas our own citizens) jailed and maybe killed. But they stayed in their integrity and they prevailed. In Gandhi's famous salt protest (Look it up. It overthrew hundreds of years of British rule in India.) the only violence came from the oppressors and the people who stayed in their integrity prevailed.

A few weeks ago, a young friend was in a situation wherein she thought she had a big fight on her hands. This was a financial situation where she was getting out of a business. One reason that she was getting out was because the partners couldn't agree on very important matters. We came to the idea that given the history, they certainly wouldn't agree to what she was asking for. She decided that she would risk the money because she didn't want any more arguments. She told them that she would take whatever they felt they could give her. She would feel better about herself if she exited gracefully than if she demanded her rights. She found her integrity.

This is one of those cool stories. She went to them and they were ready for battle and she disarmed them by putting the decision entirely in their court. They made her an excellent offer and they signed the papers and it was done. Loved her call tonite to tell me the news. Everybody won.

White Eagle said, "Everything is spirit, that's all we need to know. And spirit is triumphant over matter."
Think about it. How can this not be so?

I have talked before about Lama Marut telling us that the way to get rid of an irritating  person (nice way of wording it) is to walk out of the room, to leave the conversation, to withdraw to a safe place and then to look at the person and realize that what is causing them to be irritating is their own unhappiness. The bully, whoever is dropping bombs, the soldier killing children, the person making your life miserable at work, these are not the radiantly happy people. They might be the hurt people. They might be the most afraid people. They might be the angriest people. They might be generally fucked up, but they are not happy. We need to have compassion and make our stand within ourselves to stay our best self and make whatever adjustments we need to.

Sometimes it means dropping a very old friend. I chose not to experience her anger at me. I chose to remember the good times. I love her, but I am getting off the tracks.