Everyone should have me for a doctor.

A German, a Frenchman, and Jew got lost walking in the desert.

The German said I'm thirsty. I'm tired. I must, I must… have a cold German beer.

The Frenchman said: I'm thirsty. I'm tired. I must, I must… have a good bottle of French wine.

The Jew says I'm thirsty. I'm tired. I must, I must… have diabetes.


Thanks to my friend Ron for the joke. The reason he sends me this is that he recognizes the Jew in me. It had to have been in a past life, because it is not in my current gene pool. Catholic and Lutheran. Irish and German. Be that as it may, I  jump to the worst diagnosis for every possible ailment. In this case a little knowledge is certainly a dangerous thing. I have no memory of ever not doing this. I do it regarding others, but have learned for the most part to keep my mouth shut.

It is my sketchy knowledge of anatomy that gives me such authority. I know muscles, major organs, systems (sort of). Therefore, when I forget that I ate organic beets and pee red, I am immediately sorting through my mental catalogue of those friends with bladder cancer. All survived. Steady breath. A headache has to be a brain tumor. indigestion or a back ache is my first symptoms of pancreatic cancer. I am reporting this to you flippantly, but the real deal is that I get pretty worked up until I check myself and decide to wait and see. I have Lupus just about every other day.

The reason I am thinking about this today is that I read a nice article about conscious dying and families taking back the care of the dead, much as midwives reclaimed birth. There is a big movement about this now. When my friend, Sarah Lee Sexton died, her body was put in a cold room on dry ice and friends and family sat with her round the clock for three days and nights and we prayed and cried and laughed and read to her. She died in a Camphill Village, and this was the tradition there. Now, without or because of the influence of Rudolf Steiner, these kinds of personalized traditions are springing up all voer the place.

So, this will be the problem of whomever is around after me. As will my funeral. I have changed my mind about what I would do for my funeral so many times that I am glad I won't have to sort it out. I've left notes around when I've had inspirations, but I can't remember where they are. But it is this thing about my dying so often that has me concerned. The "What ifs?" are killer. So unBuddhist. Right now I may have a million life threatening diseases incubating in my body. But, right now I feel great and my sore feet are sore from walking for hours at the night market and not from bone cancer. I 'get' it. Be Here Now. The past is over and the future doesn't exist. I am tired and thirsty. I must need a glass of water and a good night's sleep.