Morning/Mourning

I love the morning sounds here in Nica. Footsteps start along the road. The vegetable lady starts hawking her stuff, the birds, the rooster, the wind in the palm trees and a few cars racing past all signal the start of the new day. The fountain is still dripping and the sky, soundless except for the wind, screams blue. Another gorgeous day.

The Buddhist teachers tell us to start the day with the death meditation. Sounds morbid, but it is so not. "It is a new day. I am alive. I am grateful to be alive. I could die at any moment. This could be my last day of life. How do I want to live my last day? I want to be kind and loving to all sentient beings. I want to bring happiness to someone. I want to clear up anything that I don't want to carry over into my next life. I want to see beauty"

The death meditation fully understands that everything could disappear in an instant. Everyone we love could go away. We can't waste a precious moment on ugliness or creating pain for ourselves and others. This is show time. Now. Today.

My brother John is a Lutheran, but he seems to be a perfect Buddhist. He has Down's Syndrome. He remembers a lot, but he doesn't seem to put an emotional depth charge on memories. He begins each day with a smile. He seems very happy with whatever the day brings. When he misses our father, You can see the missing pass fleetingly over his face and then the smile when he says "Father is in Heaven." All is well.

Living in the present is always a huge challenge for everyone I know. We carry around great loads of old crap, more than any donkey could carry all day. While we must certainly grieve and mourn our losses, we also have the choice to be good Buddhists, or good Brother Johns and start each morning crowing like the rooster with our greeting to the new day and all the potential it carries.

Once again, I will share the image that Lama Marut gives of us running around holding hot coals in our hands yelling "ouch, ouch" to anyone who will listen. "How about", he asks, "dropping the coals and letting go of the pain?" Loss is painful. Loss of a loved one is hard. Loss of a friend for any reason is hard, but the night gives way to the morning and we can carpe diem all over again.