Nature vs Nurture

Dumb discussion if you think about Karma. If you follow the logic of karma, everything has to fit. Lama Marut says that Karma is like pregnancy. You can't be a little pregnant. Karma can't work sometimes and not other times. He suggests that if you think about it, cigarette smoking doesn't cause cancer. If it did, then everyone who smoked would get cancer. However, the Karma that attracts you to smoke might also include getting cancer.


If there is karma, then you chose the parents you are born to. Think about whether your parents have brought you your first great challenges or your first great comfort. I have a bit of a wild streak and a rebellious nature and often thought my parents were boring. Why didn't I have parents who took their kids to Tibet (who did?) and for rides in Mongolia on yaks or whatever? Later I came to be grateful for the deeply solid foundation my parents gave me. I always knew dinner would be at six and church was Sunday morning.


If you have dreadful parents and turn out great then did you have the perfect parents? Eleanor Roosevelt's parents locked her in the closet when they had company because she was so disagreeable.  Was that when she figured out who she was instead of sitting around watching adults drink cocktails and making polite conversation? Was she attracted to them because their 'meaness' gave her the space she needed to become her own fabulous self? I don't know.


And the idea of perfect parents is so deeply molded by the time and place where you live, that even the 'perfect' parents need to be examined. A hundred years ago, people would have dropped dead at the thought of teaching a three year old to read and kids having lessons after school and homework and pressure. Now we take two year olds to speech therapists. And high school kids are having huge anxiety problems and we drive kids to school a mile away and worry that they are fat. Is this crazy? Yes, and no. 


Most parents, no matter how depraved or overbearing have really good intentions. And it seems to me that most kids are very flexible. And if we have chose the parents who birth us, then we are commencing the business of this incarnation.


When my son, Charlie was ten, he sat me down and explained to me that he thought he knew why P. and I were his parents. "I think I might have a tendency to be a little rigid, so I guess it is a good thing I was born in this family. Kind of to balance me." He actually talked like that. I told him I was glad to have him on board and l left scratching my head. "Was I that disorganized?"