Friends

My friend Karen, who was born in England and then moved to Germany where her father was involved in reconstruction (?) after WW11, then lived in Southeast Asia and now lives in the USA, once laughed at my unconscious categories of friends. She said that in England you had a 'friend'. I have 'dear friends', 'old friends', 'occasional friends', 'best friends', 'high school friends', neighborhood friends', 'aunties' who aren't really aunts, 'college friends', 'Waldorf friends', 'ex-friends', 'former friends', 'lost or misplaced friends', 'travel friends', 'ship board romance types', 'lovers'... I could go on forever.

I guess when talking about my friends, I like to give them a place in my universe. I never thought of it as grading them, or evaluating them. The adjectives just naturally flowed in my speech. She said it was an odd American thing.

In Nicaragua, I kind of took notice when a taxi driver or someone I had bought tooth paste from would subsequently greet me with a big warm "my friend, Julia". It seems as though the Nicas have one slot for friend and that is someone who has entered their life. I kind of like this. I think face book is bringing this to my world at home. I have been 'friended' by people I don't know, but they are friends of friends and now they are my face book friends.

I see it as a possibility for expansion in my mind. But I also see the chance of the concept of friend becoming so watered down that it is meaningless. To anyone who is really my friend: You are, of course, my best friend.