A Gaged Animal - Moi

I am undergoing an interesting test of some sort. It is like I need patience, but that is not quite the right concept. I need to hang in there. Sit it out. Put up with my life just now and perhaps for a few more days. I am in Southern Oregon, in the mountains, well, really the valley part way up the mountains. Our weather is Northern California mountain weather. Magic Mt. Shasta is lording it over us. After a moderate spring and summer it is now hot. 107 degrees. And the surrounds are on fire. Many huge fires blaze to the north, south, and east. The valley is full of smoke. I am sooooo lucky to be in air conditioning. Outside my eyes burn and breathing hurts. I can't wear my contact lenses.

I am more than lucky. I am blessed. I have friends, food, air conditioning, and am not threatened immanently by the fires. Our house is full of people fleeing the Applegate Valley where they came for a vacation. They will abort their vacation. It is too dangerous there. I am at a friend's house where I can have some peace of mind and leave extra space in our house. Other friends who were camping near here have been here in the overflow house to shower and cool off today. Imagine camping with kids in 107 degrees in bad air.

What is making me crazy is that there is nothing I can do to help or to change the situation. We just wait and watch and sometimes get reports about how bad things are. I am way too choleric to be happy in a situation where there is no action I can take. When we had the big flood here years  ago and really couldn't get out of the valley for the weeks, living with no work, no running water, no flushing toilets, I ended up getting two tattoos. My friend's son was home and he was a tattoo artist. My oldest daughter was horrified. "You'll have these for the rest of your life." she said. "This is the rest of my life." I said.

Probably it is a good thing that Joel isn't here with his tatt stuff, but listening to the planes and helicoptors going overhead, desperately fighting the fires, I am sad that I am not young enough and trained enough to be actively working on the problem. I am not bored. I am not patient. I am restless and slightly frustratrated. Why am I not going to the ocean? I don't know. I don't know why I am staying here except that I feel connected for once.

I can't imagine what it must be like to be in a famine or in a deperately overcrowded refugee camp waiting for news from home. I am so blessed.