http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/30/us/building-homes-for-modern-multigenerational-families.html?pagewanted=2&_r=0&ref=todayspaper

I had been asking what people are doing about the old folks. This is a back to the future answer. The other question, of course, it what people are doing about the young folks who are returning home. I like the idea of a mish-mash, although because we have to have some independence, we do do better with separate entrances. These solutions require a lot of give and take, and a lot of flexibility and some $.

But when you think of how much it costs to into independent living, or run two or three households, the $ thing changes. I also like the idea of plunking an already built home in the back yard and using it for a B&B when Mum or Dad isn't around.

I did the help take care of the grandchild duty for a few years. I was lucky to live on my son-in-laws sailboat in a marina very near their house. It gave us all space at the end of the day.  It was a good trade from my side. I loved having so much contact with the baby and I loved being on the water. I even thought of buying a houseboat of some sort. But it didn't work at all well after I broke my hip and became afraid of slipping on the wet dock. Plus, the baby did that thing they do of growing up and moving on to day care.

I think it takes a very confident family to do this kind of arrangement well. I had a friend who was a great cook and ran a gorgeous house. Her girls all managed to come home to finish college and then lingered after they graduated. When she was pulling her hair out wishing for a rest from taking care of everyone, I suggested that maybe one day they should come home to an empty fridge and no neat piles of clean laundry on their beds. She couldn't do it. Italian. But this same family had taken in the old folks when they got too old to live alone, so it was hard wired.

As with any good plan, it is best to put it into action before desperation sets in. Hard to do. Just as it seems to be a horrible wrenching to take grandpa's car keys away, it is hard for people to give up their little piece of territory before the moment when there is no choice.

I think we need to think about these things. I think that young and old alike are finding themselves in situations they hadn't imagined. Kids, be nice to your parents. You may find yourself back home one day. Parents, be nice to your kids. Same deal.