I think I might have died of boredom...

I think I might have died of boredom if I had grown up in a small family, had small classes at school or a lot of private lessons. My world was the interactions. I don't think of myself as very competitive, but I do get a bit of a contact high from being around stimulating people and that often translates into doing better or working harder. I like being the instigator. I like being the midwife of whatever is birthing. I don't mind the spotlight, but I am equally comfortable behind the scenes, most comfortable being in the middle of the action.

In terms of meditation, I like sitting alone but I have gotten very buzzed, very deep into meditation sitting with others. When it works, it is wonderful. Sitting with someone like Lisa Schumacher, who radiates love, I feel connected to all of life in one moment. Doing a walking meditation with the people from Spirit Rock and many Buddhist monks across the Golden Gate Bridge, I felt both present in the moment and connected with the past and the future.

The other day I was trying to reassure a friend who is worried about dying alone. I said that we all die alone in one sense and we can never die alone in another sense. I saw my mother light up and sit up days before she died and with a big smile, call out "Mom!". She was not with me in the room at that moment,  she was already being greeted from the other side. She was in that special place between two worlds. I think her preview of the other side would have happened whether we were with her or not. While we were talking, my friend recalled seeing this happen with a patient of her's in the hospital. It was very reassuring.

Whether we are midwifing or experiencing a birth or a death, we obviously have to attend to the physical matters that need attention, but never are the veils so transparent and the spiritual so manifest. I expect to be in the middle of the action whether I am alone of with other people. I have a pretty clear inner picture of this.