Don't You Hate Concepts Like "Humility"?

My friend Greeley doesn't like people to use words like 'hate'. But despite his preferences, I often go for the most simple and dramatic word. It gets my attention. You have to understand that it is not the word or even the concept of 'humility' or 'gratitude' that I dislike so vehemently. It is the ever changing goal post of experience that is so very difficult for me.

It seems as if, as soon as I think I have become humble, something much bigger and deeper and harder comes up for the next lesson. "You think that is humility! Try this on."

I finally understand that it is seriously not a good plan to have any spiritual hubris. But what is wrong with allowing myself an occasional pat on the back? My current conclusion is that it is as big a crime as murder. Because spiritual pride means starting over. If we have to 'die to become' then pride in anything brings that ego right back and feeds its insatiable hunger.

Humility is a rough one. If you play it like "Poor worthless little old me, I am less than a bug on a rug." are you denying the glory of God's creation? Are you seeking compliments? Are you looking to be knocked down or built up? Sketchy stuff. If you go to "In my humble opinion, blah blah." are you feeling righteous. You are. Your thoughts are better. They are right. You have the truth. You might as well say "In my all-knowing and perfect thinking, here is your answer." Nothing humble there.

I thought I had learned a lot about humility. I am not possession proud. But am I proud of not being possession proud? Ya, probably. I am not looks proud. I am kind of a natural, nothing fancy kind of woman. But does some little part of me think that is just a little bit cooler than the women who spend all their time and money being worked on? Ya, probably.

Getting old does a good job of knocking out pride and teaching humility. Think about it. Daily something sags or wrinkles or looses it's full abilities. It isn't a subtle thing. It is a sledge hammer action. So this aging thing, like this parenting thing, as with the creative thing, this life thing,  conspires to bring us to our knees, to teach us what is real, to expose the very essence of life.

So, it is all good. No one ever said it would be easy.

Your humble servant,

Julie