LETTING GO AND LETTING GOD

Some days I wish I had a plan for my life. Most days I am pretty glad to just bumble along. I do get stuck in these non-action phases. You see, if I am not sure about something, if I am pressured, or out of touch with my intuition, I tend to plunk. Right now, I am happily plunked. But I see the big What's next?" coming up when I return to the US.

There are some obvious things that need to be done. I do need to look at my six months of mail, and pay my taxes, and call some dear friends. I feel a great need to attend Philippa's wedding and see the Grand Canyon. I would like to get to Asia and Southeast Asia. I need a haircut, Georgene? In my 'plunked' phases, actions big and small have the same weight. That's just not right.


I often find that when I make a plan, I can sense somewhere inside (my gut?) that it will never happen. So I make the plan and then wait for whatever is coming that will throw a monkey wrench into it. Getting sick. Terrorist attack. My father and I had a great plan to go together on a tour of his ancestral homeland. It was the Palatine region of France, Germany, and Switzerland. The magical corner where they meet.


We got him a passport and made the arrangements with  Pennsylvania Dutch group. I had never traveled with Dad. We were both very excited. Somewhere along the way I realized that his ancestors were also mine. But when I tried to see the daily movement of the tour, I couldn't get it in focus. The tour was cancelled when we invaded Iraq or when the Spanish subway was bombed or when we went into Afghanistan. I can't remember what disaster made the group feel unsafe to go. I was disappointed, but somewhere inside myself, I had felt that it was a long shot.


I told Dad we could do it ourselves, the tour be damned, but he wanted the intellectual and historical wisdom that the tour offered.

Everyone's life has a thousand examples of such moments. My friend John used to say that if you had good intentions then God would set you on the right path. His example was that if you came to a crossroad, going some where  that you felt guided to go, and you chose the wrong path, God wouldn't say "Oh, that stupid idiot!" but would find a way to get you back on track.


But, then comes the questions of 'intention'. Are our intentions coming from the highest place in us? Let's think about that before we make the next plan. Meanwhile...happily plunked.