I got my contact lenses in January. Today I finally got both lenses in. There were many, many days that I didn't try because I couldn't find them or because I was going swimming or because I couldn't face the prospect of failure.
The thing is that for the last weeks I watched my grand kids and lots of other kids at the beach at Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica learn to surf, to swim, to bogey board, to spot monkeys, to see sloths, and recognize geckos and more. What the kids showed me (how long did it take me to see this? 68 years?) is that you just do it over and over again until you get the feel for it. So, I sat down this morning, put all my thoughts and emotions aside (I am a failure, I need more lessons, I had better order regular glasses) and tried again and again until I got the feel for it and it worked.
Perhaps for you, this is a dumb example, but I am sort of intellectual and used to learning things by 'learning' them. Learning by braille, so to speak, is rather alien to me. I could not see my eye ball without my reading glasses and I couldn't put in the contact with the reading glasses on. So, I took a deep breath, reminded myself that a lot of people with below average intelligence can put on contacts, and imitated those brave kids who tried and failed over and over until they succeeded. Amazing.
Why do we think we can teach kids anything? My guess is that we USAers have some left over Puritan thing going on, that kids are fallen from grace and need to be hammered with morality and teachings until they take the shape we want. I sometimes think that we need to set a fine example and let them figure it out. Rose Kennedy said she put all her effort into parenting her oldest child, Joe, and figured rightly that there would be an excellent trickle down especially in terms of manners, and responsibility.
I overheard conversations among my kids about the bullying problem in schools. I heard them talking about all the programs that were in place to stop bullying. I asked "How is it working out?" They replied that it would probably be much worse without the attention. I have my doubts. My feeling is that if it was working after the time and money that has been spent, there would be no problem now.
It might be naive but I think kids watch adults very closely and they also suck up more from the TV and videos than we would believe. As a nation we are THE world-class bully. On news hours we hear over and over what we should do to anyone who looks at us cross eyed, or ever who looks different. On cartoons, we laugh at the bullies. One president claims "Wanted dead or alive" about Bin Laden. Another, orders him assassinated and them brags about it repeatedly. No apparent problem that this cost trillions of dollars and hundreds of thousands of lives. What exactly are we modeling about bullying?
Thick Naht Hahn says There is no path to peace, peace is the path." Watch the modeling closely and then try again and again. That is my lesson for today, dear readers.
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