I've been here before. I've been here before for some extended periods of time. I am basically doing nothing right now. The only reason I can see for this is that I don't have a clear picture of what my next step is. By 'doing nothing' I don't mean that I am not doing anything. I am keeping my house and body clean, nourishing my body, tending my garden...that kind of daily maintenance. I am walking good distances every day and swimming when I get the chance.
The problem is this feeling that I should be doing something more. It is an inner restlessness in a time of outer peacefulness. The thing is that I have learned through many experiences that for me it is not good to force the issue. I have tried making plans recently and they have not flowed. When this has happened in the past and I have thrown my will into forcing the issue, things still haven't flowed. So, now I wait until I know my next move.
Until that time, I am reading fun books and plodding through "Dirty Wars" by Jeremy Scahill. I know, I mentioned this months ago. I read a book a day and this one is taking me forever. That is because it is a game changer. There is pretty much nothing in the news today or last week or last month that doesn't somehow have light thrown on it by this story of our actions in the Middle East as researched and written by Jeremy. He is not only a fabulous story teller, but a great journalist. I am lucky to have this time with myself and with Jeremy.
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