My body is so much like my finances. If something is wrong, it is hard to focus on anything else. For the billion and a half people living today on $1 a day, every minute of every day must be fully focused on survival, on somehow getting that dollar. How can anyone have time to do anything else?
I just watched "Living on a Dollar" a film made in Guatemala by 4 college friends who challenged themselves to living in a little Mayan village in the Ishil Triangle. Great documentary, but the limitations of the experiment are obvious. They were healthy, educated, could quit at any time and go home. In fact, if they hadn't eaten at all for two weeks, they would have survived.
During the war in Guatemala, I went with a team of health workers to a mountainous town in the same region as the film. The area had been devastated by the scorched earth policy of the US supported military. Many were dead and many were in exile. But we had heard that there was a very sick family and we went to see if we could bring some help. We packed up a lot of antibiotics and parasite medicine and hoped it wasn't TB. The villagers were not safe to come to the clinics and get treatment in those years.
We climbed the steep volcano and found a few scattered houses. (dirt floors, cane walls, thatched roofs) Someone pointed the way to the sick family. We got there and things were clearly bad. The mother had been menstruating for months without stopping. She had an awful cough as did everyone in the family. We had a doc and a translator. The family only spoke Quiche.
The first order of business was that they had to be hospitable. Somehow, the doc and the translator got out of this situation. I was left. The family found their cup on a window ledge. it was a filthy dirty old plastic cup. They got water from a trough built in the stream where they bathed and watched the ducks swim. The man washed his hands and then filled the cup with the same water. There were no options. Then they warmed the water, put some coffee in it and added some chilies and some chocolate that had straw in it. Then all gathered around to watch my pleasure.
I was praying my head off. "Dear God, You know I came to help here. I am a good person, in spite of a few issues. Please don't let this coffee be the cause of my death." I drank.
I never got sick. Thank you Almighty Wonder. It turned out that we were dealing with bronchitis, not TB. More thanks. The next issue was that we needed a teaspoon to show them how much antibiotic to take. There didn't seem to be a spoon in the village. One of the health workers mentioned that she had some coke bottle caps and a cap held a half teaspoon.
Everybody got treated especially the mom. Later a water team went up and put in a spigot. This was poverty. This poverty was the direct result of a campaign of genocide which disrupted a stunning simple balance that had been working for many hundreds of years.
We went down the mountain with many thoughts racing through our minds. "How can they be nice to us when we caused their troubles?" "I hope that coffee doesn't kill me." "I couldn't last a week in those conditions."
And that was the real truth. I couldn't last a week in those conditions or for that matter, probably any of the really poor conditions in the world. When a person is that poor everyday is a full blown battle.
I think it is the same deal with illness.
Being sick obviously isn't about money, although their are obvious advantages to the level and quality of health care that money can buy. But my point is that if you are really sick, whether in a hospital or on a dirt floor, you have little or no time for anything else. The world shrinks to survival. "Can something stop the pain?" "Can I pee, poop?" "Can I have water?" "I need to sleep." Sadly, even those of us who have never seen or experienced dire poverty have been with someone dying of cancer. If you don't have some degree of health you are in a small universe...your body.
I think of my mother saying "You'll get your reward in heaven." Could this be the same idea as "You are burning through some bad shit karma?" I don't know, but I do know that when suffering, whether from poverty or from illness, reaches a certain level, you have to have some hope to keep going.
