A Major Rethink. Help!

I wrote a post yesterday and then unposted it this morning after a few people had read it because I was guilty of doing that thing...that thing that old people do, romanticizing the past. Firstly, I can not do this in an honest way, because it is a belief of mine that the healthiest thing we can do is to be grateful for all our experiences that have brought us to who we are today. Yup. That's a belief. So, ipso facto, everything in my past was perfect, a fairy tale, a dream life. Another thing is that I am a romantic soul - same result. Yet another thing is that remembering yesterday's events or even today's can only be done with my present consciousness and I don't want to be guilty of "the good old days" syndrome.

I want to share my stories mostly because I have enjoyed so very much hearing other people's stories. They explain everything; they explain nothing. People's stories are what they can offer as a glimpse into the window of their soul.

But what bothered me about the deleted post, was there was an unintended but unmistakable implication that things were better in my childhood than they are for kids today. Not necessarily true.

When I was a kid I loved to visit the farm in Pennsylvania where my Grandfather, William Kohler Braucher grew up. There was a huge stone house, a gorgeous red barn, hundreds of dairy cows, rolling fields. Three generations lived there together. They worshiped, worked, ate great food, worked, did I mention worked together year in and year out. That is what I saw. What I didn't see, and later found out was the pain and devastation of WW1 in their household, and the Spanish Flu epidemic and the pain of relatives back in Germany and other countries in Europe. So, I can enjoy my romantic picture of this bucolic tapestry, and I do, but it is both a reality and a fantasy.

I am sure that Dr. Freud would have said that it is an unhealthy thing to remember only the good. I must be repressing bad shit that needs to be talked about forever. But remember he was a coke head and he was mostly dealing with raving lunatics.We make our choices. But, the main reason I had second thoughts was the implied superiority of one childhood over another. I am, after all, in the land of karma. We get what we need and we make of it what we will, and have compassion for anyone less fortunate.