How to Get Respect. There is Nothing as Simple.

I won't keep you in suspense. You get respect by giving respect.

I don't think respect has ever been an issue in my life, but I have some observations that have matured through my travel experiences. I have watched a lot of different people and I see what works as a passport to an easier more gracious life.

It helps to act like a queen or king. I don't mean the stupid, spoiled, demanding, cartoon queen. I mean the comfortable, aware queen who tries to put others at their ease. I owe a lot to Alice Chamberlin who is my model. Don't let this go to your head, Alice, but the Dalai Lama is another model I look up to. You see, people like Alice and the Dalai Lama give you their attention when you are in their sights. Class, money, achievements, appearances don't seem to come into play. You feel important because you are. This sounds a little fatuous, but I am serious. Think how many people we brush past or half see or don't listen to in a busy day. The Buddhist insist the everyone you encounter in this life has karmic significance. Everyone. How do we miss this so often?

I am being treated like a queen here at TubTim Resort in Koh Samet, Thailand. When I walk into the restaurant, the waiters greet me, and run to get me pillows for the very uncomfortable seats, and remember what I like and ask me about my sleep or my swim. This sounds ordinary, but it is not. I am the only person here that I have seen this happen to regarding the pillows. Granted, I have grey hair which is a great asset here, but I also have time. I have taken the time to smile and greet (Sawadee Ka , bow) each of them. I enjoy them and am happy to see them and laugh when they burst into song and am quiet when they are watching the sea. I have watched people be demanding, angry, condescending and get what they want but they do not get respect because they don't give it. Nobody has fun. I see this all the time, everywhere. I know that my life has not one more iota of value than the next guy's. We are all in the same soup, all trying to figure out how to live and why we are here.

There are a lot of examples of people and groups trying to get respect by the use of force or power or violence. Think of the recent motorcycle gang clusterfuck in Texas, or the US and Israel in the Middle East. How is that working out? Using violence has never proved to win hearts and minds let alone respect.

In my personal life and in big geopolitical actions I do not advocate being a pushover. I advocate real strength, inside confidence. If we can walk tall and have compassion for others, they feel it and shine it back.