Friday, February 21, 2014

How do those therapists do it?

Met some lovely people at the bookstore tonite and they ended up inviting me to dinner. We had an absolutely wonderful time. At the moment when we were saying goodnight, I realized that Carol, the new friend, had conducted a skillful interview and knew my whole life. I don't mean dates and info, I mean the real stuff.

When she handed me her card so we could keep in touch her profession was "Mindfulness Based Psychotherapy". I already knew she practiced Buddhism but, wow, she was good. I remarked that I hadn't even known that we were starting therapy when we sat down and how had it happened that I didn't know anything about her and she knew so much about me. She said, "I'll tell you anything you want to know." I found myself asking her how long they had been married and wondering whether this was really what I wanted to know in the few short minutes we had left.

I think, you see, that it was the right question because they were so utterly comfortable with each other. Almost 17 years. Second marriage for both. A fine fit. That Buddhist thing again. They were remarkably present which in turn made me more so. And if that Buddhist thing makes sense, it was our good karma that we met. I needed the updraft and had just watched a video my daughter sent me about being in the "NOW".

This was most perfect for two clear reasons (and probably myriad less obvious ones). I have been watching a dear friend suffer with cancer and having that frustrating feeling that "I wish I could do something to help relieve her suffering, and watching a friend grieve the sudden passing of her husband. I have been working on putting aside my need for action and just being in the space with these friends. I AM HERE. That is my meditation for today.

Simple, simple, simple....hard. That is my cycle with this mindfulness deal.

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