I HAVE ENOUGH

I have enough. I have enough. I have enough. I have enough. I have enough. I have enough.

If I can get that through my brain, through my body, through the twisted gate of my feelings, then I am at peace. At least I suppose that is how things would work. I am pretty good about not wanting much in the material world. I am pretty good at counting my blessings. I am pretty good at seeing the best in people. But then, the rain gets me. If it were only sunny, everything would be perfect. And the kids. If they were all radiantly happy, I would be great. If I could find a just society I would have more hope. If we weren't killing people with drones in ??? number of countries, I could maybe like the president enough to vote for him.

So, my arrogant self-satisfaction about not 'wanting' is pretty much mostly bull shit. What is 'wanting' is inner peace. It feels good to want to end hunger and suffering. But not when I can't figure out what my active role can be in that endeavor. Then I am just expressing discontent with the world and demonstrating that I don't have enough.

One thing I know is that being a misery doesn't help alleviate misery in others. Therefore my complaints about the endless rain and cold are hurting the people I love. And if I strive to have love and compassion for all sentient beings, well, oops.

In the world of karma, everything has a cause and everything has an effect . Therefore, I have created the causes to be in this country at this time when my president orders assassinations and it makes me mad. I have to examine this. Mediate on this. I have to see my karmic causes for this and create the antidote for it, otherwise it will continue to take away my peace and I will continue to feel frustrated that I can't change things.

So, my start point is going to be to repeat this mantra "I have enough" until I live it better and meditate on why I was born into this society at this time. And pray for sunshine. (I didn't say that).