My friend Jimmy just joined "match.com" and has decided that he is completely shallow because he looks at pictures of the women who check him out and rejects them one after another because of their looks. So far, he hasn't dated anyone.
My friend R.S. has dated bunches and he is interested to a certain degree in many of them. He loves to hear people's biographies. Is he less shallow, or is he just using these dates for some kind of entertainment? Is it shallow to start out by looks alone? Perhaps not. I mean we are all attracted to different types. Some women like tall skinny guys. Some like big teddy bear types. Others like compact men. Is it possible that this modern way of connecting is just as intuitive and valid as falling for someone across the room?
If we have a karmic connection with someone can we feel it through the computer? When I got married, and a few of my old boyfriends came to my wedding, my mother remarked that they all looked alike and they all looked like P., the one I married. I looked over the men of my life and son of a gun! they were generic. Tall, melancholic, intellectual. Was my going out with those other guys just an exercise in honing my intuition until I encountered that one I had destiny with?
So, perhaps the dating game has always been shallow.
Many years later, I had a glimpse of a past life with P. I don't know whether it is true or not, but I felt that we had a past together in India and we had great conflict and the picture I got was that I was peasant rabble and he was a Brahmin. I think that I was upset and fiercely fighting about something (Muslin vs Hindu?) and that I injured him. Looking back on our meeting, how could it not have been electric if we had such a powerful, painful past?
Can this take place on "match.com"? I'm sure it can. And I'm sure I would not have the patience to hang out on a computer until I felt the vibe, then set up a meet and then find out. I also have some kind of old fashioned notion that one meets the people we are supposed to meet.
I love asking people who hook up how they met. Often you get such wonderful answers as "I knocked on the wrong door at his dorm." "I spilled coffee by accident on him at Starbucks." "She was standing in front of me in line at the market." Could these accidents possibly be accidents?
So are you putting out the word to the cosmo huh Jules? I met Mamadou ate the arts festival and he kept following me around asking me questions. Then he kept calling me and then we met and were married a month later....and as you know 15 years and many mountains crossed since.
ReplyDeleteThere was a moment I was talking on the phone with him. I literally felt like I left my body and met him on some other spiritual plane for the conversation. Thats the one where I decided to marry him Somehow even though he barely spoke english I always understood what he was saying or wanted to say. When you come to the connection its hard to resist it, no matter how much you even want to run away. A psychic predicted meeting him 3 months before, said I would meet a man in colorful clothes next to a body of water, (Crocker park) and more details too. Isnt it true when you have children they feel such a part of you just when theyre born ,like you've always known them ?