What Is Private and What Is Public?

My friend Jane, with whom I take very frequent walks, and I were talking the other day about how many people in politics self-sabotage by having affairs that are bound to become public and therefore, in these times, hurt or kill the careers of the politicians. You don't need to be reminded. There are people like sweet John Edwards. Well, he did appear sweet. You know the story. The whole world knows the story. A long time ago, it was Gary Hart's one photo that tanked his meteoric rise. I don't know if it was a one off, or if he was with bimbos daily. And, of course, Bill. From my point of view, what goes on in Vegas should stay in Vegas (or the bedroom, or wherever). But in the oval office? I don't know. I don't care whether a person is gay or straight. I care who that person is outside of his/her bedroom. But these people (mostly guys) who spend all their time and building up power and then blow it, so to speak....I don't get it. Is the problem the power and the false sense that they are untouchable? Is it the need for the adrenalin rush that comes from taking a chance? Is it about feeling like they can do whatever they want?

Maybe they just need to have more power, like Henry V111. Then they could just change the laws or the religion and do what they want. But, we the people, have to take some of the hit for this weird state of affairs. Who watches reality shows? Millions of us. Who can't get enough of the news when the shit hits the fan for an important person? We gossip about people we don't even know; Snookie, Brittany, Paris, Madonna: we all know their stories. We build up sympathy or antipathy about people and events that we really know nothing about.

But this trend  goes on even among those of us who have no visible power. People will tell total strangers as well as closest friends everything about their marriage, their finances, their kids! I am not talking about telling a professional therapist, I am talking about spilling your guts to someone you have just met.

My parents generation didn't do this. Was that better or  worse? Probably a bit of both. I have a few pet theories. One is that I think a lot of people are lonesome. I don't necessarily mean alone. I mean something like they feel someone is missing in their life. I think a lot of people don't feel 'heard'. Maybe if we broadcast our news someone will understand. And I know I am guilty of this: we gossip about other people if we 'feel' for them. I am pretty sure this is a bit twisted unless it results in a therapeutic plan of action. I also think I gossip about other people as of sorting my world and my thoughts. The Good Lama isn't for this kind of talk. I am trying to curb this tendency, but rest assured, dear reader, I will never, no never, gossip about you. It is bad for my karma.